Walk a Dream-Chapter 8

Chapter 8.

She was already changing. She felt both liberated and troubled. She moved with more ease, she laughed more often and people around her started to notice and enjoy the changes. Deep inside, she felt the skin of her soul becoming softer and more sensitive, easily reacting to the heartbeats of that other person living connected to her inner world. She was falling for someone she hasn’t seen yet, someone with whom she has not talked yet…Still, she knew a lot about that person’s intimacy of the soul.

“ Girl, you’re losing your  f*cking mind !” – she sighed inwardly, then left the bathroom with a smirk. “So what?!” -she thought. “Let it come, whatever will be. I’ll handle it then.”-she concluded and set herself in motion. The day belonged to reality and reality was claiming her full attention. Her confident, composed self was real but it was only the tip of the iceberg. So many such elusive chunks are flowing in the huge river of life….Facing life requires a hardened  protective shell and one would be shocked to look around and see the others the way they are behind the mask. Their naked truth….

  We are walking galaxies of swirling emotions and shadows, we are what others see and we are also what only we know. Kai was no exception. She was living in a city, had a job, there were expectation towards her and she was doing her best to get things done right. The meadows of dew and stars belonged to the world of dreams and fantasy and reality was not invited there. But now, someone has found a way to open her inner door. The shadow of another soul was walking her inner pathways, searching her inner lands, touching her inner features, leaving its own fingerprints on the soft inner walls….If this was not madness, then it must have been love. Aren’t these two things sometimes the same?

 Love was not unknown to Kai but this feeling moving inside her, ruffling  the surface of her inner ocean was like no other before…This one was undressing her from inside, peeling off her protective shell, calling with its enchanting touch the wildly free and untamed being her core kept hidden for so long. The day spent in walking the order of reality proved to be annoyingly long. Wild Girl was knocking on the inner door, hoping to break free and Kai bit her lips not to scream. Where was the night when she needed it?!

    Finally, the curtain of the sky filled with stars and she banged the door in the face of reality. Clutching her hands on the cup of hot chocolate, she stood on the windowsill, sipping in the refreshing air of the night.

“Do I want this ? Did I ask for it and I can’t remember? What else can’t I remember? “

I kept feverishly search my mind for answers but there were none. This is not MY dream-I kept telling myself. But who am I? More and more I feel like a cracking cocoon, another me pushing from inside, asking to be released, asking for its right, no!my right to live. Oh! Who are you, why did you stir my world into disarray?! Why do you need me? Where are you? “

Kai shook her head and went to the bathroom to wash her face. Maybe the cold water will help her calm the inner turmoil. She let the water cool and splashed a good amount on her face, on her neck and chest. Huh! That was icy! With à deep sigh, she ran her wet hands through her hair and looked in the mirror. The answer was there, looking at her with dark brown eyes.

-Good evening, Kai- heshe said and the deep purr of the voice rang in Kai’s mind. Come! Our time is shorter than I hoped.

 Kai stared in disbelief. “This is not happening!”-she thought. “I am crazy, I know but this is more than that!” The one she was looking at was taller than her and had spiky black hair and a creole complexion. The features of the face were ambiguous, holding an equally strong femininity and masculinity. The ambivalence of the voice was well reflected in the features of the face and even in the personal aura radiating through the mirror.

-You’re not crazier than I am-chuckled the voice in Kai’s head. In fact, we have a lot in common. That’s why we got up tangled in this dream. Don’t be afraid! You’re not losing my mind. Now give me a hand! There are things I want to share with you…  

  Heshe held out a hand…through the mirror. Kai stared in the dark brown eyes, searching for the light so close to her heart. It was shimmering in the depths of those eyes…She grabbed the hand and they  both vanished in the silver waters of the mirror.

Walk in a Dream-waking up in someone else’s dream. Chapter 4.

Chapter 4.

She woke up crying, emotionally drained by the dream. She couldn’t understand. How can anyone do such thing to its child? Why? Why would you use your child as a battleground in a fight with your spouse? It’s senseless and cruel!

She got off the bed and pushed herself into the daily schedule, leaving the impressions of the night to sink deeper and to clear inside her mind. By the time she was sipping her coffee, she felt less vulnerable and she returned to her previous thoughts.

Maybe the parents themselves were a bit lost, not knowing how to react to the fact that they had a very special child. The world they were living was not prepared either and thus, answers or help in understanding how to deal with, were scarce if none at all. This was an important issue in the fragilisation of their connection. While their child needed love, acceptance and protection, both mother and father were desperately trying to “fix” reality according to their own vision. The result….

The girl shook her head in disbelief. The result was nothing less of a disaster. Peeling off the elements of fantasy, the final moments of the dream were speaking volumes about it. Somewhere in this world, a shattered soul was reaching out for help…

“So be it!”-though the girl and stood up to leave for work. She locked the door when she heard the little bell ringing….

~~

The sound was unmistakable; it was little Jordie’s belt bell. I’ve recognized it instantly. Was I truly awake or my dream was continuing? Could it be that the one dreaming it, found a way into my reality, warping it and changing it? The simple thought of such happening made me question my sanity.

So I’ve shrugged off the thought, took a few deep breaths and I walked out the door. No more bells ringing….

~~~

She woke up at the same hour, in the middle of the night, with a heavy heart. “What’s next?”-she thought, remembering the other night and the painful question in the eyes of the shattered teenager.

The room was dark and silent and her throat was sore of unexpected thirst. Half asleep, she dragged herself to the bathroom and let the cold water flow for a while. She poured a glass of water and gulped it up. Her eyes met the reflection in the mirror and she froze. At first, she saw herself, sleepy and ruffled but then, there was something new in that image. Something or….someone? Someone was with her in the mirror. Someone was inside her own image, someone whose image was overlapping hers. It was difficult to detect the changes but they eyes were darker, the look inside them, piercing , veiled only by the sheen of sleep in the girl’s eyes.

Then, the feeling became stronger. The more she looked inside those eyes, the stronger the feeling of entwining with someone else became inside her. She instinctively put a hand on her chest; something was moving inside, digging deep in the intimacy of her soul. Something was trying to nest inside her, to find a safe haven. Someone was moving with her, in her. She was herself and someone else as well.

Words appeared on the translucent screen of the mirror, written by an invisible hand: “ Do you remember me ?….”

~~~~~~~~~~~

What should I say? I stared in the eyes of the one(s) in the mirror.

-Help me to remember!-I said. Lead my way through this quest. I want to remember….

The mirror wobbled and I’ve found myself on a white surface, stretching endlessly in all directions into a dense, milky mist. I stood there, waiting….The silence of the place was almost tangible, the mist was slowly undulating in the distance. I closed my eyes and opening wide my arms, I tried to touch….something with my fingertips. In the mirror of my mind, I touched the one nested inside my soul. Its touch was warm and soft. Our fingers, our palms, our hands touched at both ends of the Infinity…Then “+” and ”-” collided in an embrace. I opened my eyes to gaze into the face of the one holding me.

-I’m glad you’re not running anymore!- he said with a playful smile. A youthful face with dark brown eyes, wearing a top hat and a black and red cape. A Magician. He took me by the hand and we stepped inside the forest. The pathway under our feet was covered by azure-blue grass, the leaves of the canopy were shimmering with a golden-yellow glow and a bluish mist was filling the in betweens of the tree trunks. I was mesmerized.

“ If this is a dream, then I don’t want to wake up anymore!”- I thought.

The encounter

That morning she woke up in the middle of a dream. She almost fell off the bed trying to get back to reality. In her dream she was carried away by an invisible stream, flowing along the pathways of the Milky Way. It has been wonderful out there and the cold, grey autumn morning painfully shocked her senses.

She tottered towards the bathroom and the bubbling, icy water washed away the dizziness. She had a short breakfast and while the cat was purring at her feet, she almost spilled the milk on the floor. She banged the door behind her and ran downstairs, taking two steps at the time.

A sudden blow of wind shook the row of lime and chestnut trees, whirling up and down, blending copper leaves and dust, rolling shining balls of chestnut along the streets. The old Jaguar coughed and started slowly, rolling out of the garage. Sally drove carefully, peeking up from time to time to the troubled skies. The ragged sheets of rain clouds hung lazily from above like smoke laces…

The day at the office passed without any significant event. The place was crowded and noisy, filled with people crawling around. Eight hours of continuous buzzing left Sally with a light headache. She soon realized that all she needed was a long walk on the beach. She loved the restlessness of the sea and the salty breeze filling the air.

She left her car near the passage and walked down the stairs. Chilling blows of wind were hitting the sand and rippled the surface of the sea. Hungry fingers of foam were pointing towards the swirling clouds and then falling back, melting in the troubled heart of the sea. Yellow grains of sand were rolling in frenzy with a harsh sound, like the tail of an invisible, giant dragon running across the beach…

Sitting on the top of a cliff right above the stormy waters, Sally watched dreamingly the ceaseless movement of Nature. A strangely shaped dark mass, moving slowly trough the steel-blue waters caught suddenly her eyes. A long, dark brown neck, covered by an oily skin emerged from the sea. The head was small, triangular, with thin nostrils and a large mouth. It was a lizard’s face, but the eyes were entirely different. They were large, dark blue, spotted by golden sparks. Sally and the creature stared at each other for a moment, and then he gracefully immerged in the waves and disappeared.

The girl stood there holding her breath, trying to keep in her memory as much as she could about that soft, gleaming look in the eyes of that wonderful creature.

“Nobody would ever believe this…-she thought. Maybe it’s better like this.”

Like getting out of a world of dreams, she looked around.  It was getting late. She resumed her pace and turned home.