Drawing on paper in ink gel pen, watercolor, gold tempera. Illustration.
Drawing in pencil on paper. Illustrations of various Fantasy trips and dreams. Enjoy!
Fuyuki woke up late that day. The sun was already high in the sky when he emerged from the dark waters of dreams. He felt dizzy; his head was heavy and he had a foul taste in his mouth. The worst of it was, that despite all efforts, he couldn’t remember anything of the previous evening.
He decided to chill and to take things slowly so the first thing was to carefully descend from bed. Oddly enough, his whole body was aching. For a moment, he almost fell to his knees. He felt feverish on the inside and the strong daylight pained his senses. He stopped for a moment, took a deep breath, then made his way to the shower.
The steady flow of water eased his pains and helped him regain control over his body. He made some disturbing discoveries in the shower; there was a pink, sore spot on his left upper arm and a purplish larger spot on his neck, right under his earlobe. Yet, his memory was blocked, like somebody has hit the “delete” button.
Yoshiasu was due to come home only Friday and today was/ probably/ Wednesday. Fuyuki left the shower and dressed up. He went to the kitchen and took some salad from the refrigerator, made some toast and a strong, hot coffee to clear his mind. He wasn’t at ease at all; he felt sick and he was alone. He pushed the button on the TV set and let the noise fill the surroundings. He took his cell phone and left a message for Yoshiasu. He was missing him.
Fuyuki eat a little although the food tasted like cardboard in his mouth; he took the mug of coffee and sat on the top of a high chair hoping to clear his mind. Nothing useful came to him so he decided to look into his clothes from the previous day. He found his organizer and remembered that till half past eight he had been at the exhibition hall along with the other four artists. He also found his car keys but he couldn’t remember driving home. As he was trying to fill in the missing moments the doorbell rang and a male voice announced that he had a delivery. Fuyuki opened the door and let the young man in. He was close to his age and was carrying a middle sized box wrapped up in expensive paper.
The name of the sender was unfamiliar but he took the parcel anyway; he didn’t want to create problems for the young guy. He signed for it and gave a generous tip. On a spur of a moment Fuyuki asked the guy if he would like to have a coffee until he looks into the package. Fuyuki felt the need of a living soul next to him; probably the delivery guy sensed something or it was just the shade of fatigue showing in Fuyuki’s violet-blue eyes, but he decided to take the offer. They both sat around the table and Fuyuki unwrapped the parcel: it contained a bottle of very expensive champagne, an equally expensive box of chocolate and an unmarked envelope. Fuyuki took out the envelope and his heart sank; he had a bad feeling about its content.
Giving a small smile to his guest, he stood up and went to the window to look to the content; there were only two items inside- a photo and a white card with only a few words in handwriting: “ You are even more beautiful at a closer look. Thank you.”
Fuyuki felt sick; he didn’t have to look at the photo; he knew exactly what it was. He stood up pale like a sheet of paper and shaking from inside. He took a deep breath and handed the box to the young man.
-Take it, please; it’s yours- he said in a coarse voice.
The delivery guy looked up in surprise.
-But Mr. Tanaka…I can’t…this is very expensive.
-Please…-whispered Fuyuki. Do me this favor. Thank you.
He let the man out; the guy turned to him and asked in a worried voice:
-Are you OK? Do you want me to call a doctor? You’re very pale…
-No, thanks; I can manage-said Fuyuki.
As the puzzled man left with the expensive gift, Fuyuki sat on the bed. He took out his phone and left another message to Yoshiasu. This time it was an urging one: “Come home, please!”
She was shivering, shaken by an inner fever. The memory of the night was still fresh in her mind and as she pushed herself slowly off the cold surface, conflicting emotions washed over her. For long minutes, she was penduling between an intoxicating elation and an unexplainable panic. She has fallen in love and that love lived in the no man’s land between dream and reality. How can anyone keep its sound mind in such circumstances?
But this love wasn’t meant to last; Kai knew it well. The more she learned about Jordan, the clearer it became that she, the average girl in front of a mirror was meant only to be the dream-holder and rememberer. Something was abruptly changing in the life of her unexpected soul-twin and they were both running out of time. “But what was that change?”-wondered Kai. There was no one to answer that question now… Kai took a deep breath and decided to join the reality of the morning.
The night came under the auspices of the Peach Moon. I saw it rising cautiously above the dark line of the hills. The sky was spotless and deep blue. The faintly glowing pink contour emerged gradually and soon we were facing each other, the Moon and I. It looked at me with its saddened face, with that silent cry frozen on its face for eons. Its eyes were crying invisible tears and my heart sank in despair.
I’ve ran to the gates breathlessly! The world behind them was dead silent and hollow. The forest was emptied of footprint memories, emptied of laughter echoes, emptied of innocence…The spells of the Wizard had been scattered by a chilling wind of forgetfulness. Gone were the mermaids and shores, gone the stellar abyss of swirling light and love….The leaves of poetry were growing only in my heart by now. The Blue trees retracted in the void and I couldn’t reach them anymore. I fell to my knees crying…Then I remembered the house. Maybe, just maybe Joren was still there! I jumped to my feet and sped towards the house in the mist.
As soon as she reached the premises, Kai knew that hopes for finding anyone around were thin. The house felt just as empty as the space surrounding it. The girl cautiously opened the door and passed along the corridors until she reached that special door. Before she could touch it, the door flew open and Tyler’s angry face looked at Kai, shouting:
-You’re late! They’re all gone!!! No one is here anymore!! No one!!!
His breath was freezing cold and Kai stepped back for a moment. The pain inside, the sense of loss built up inside her pushed to the surface and she felt her entire being crack under the pressure. Her final armor shattered, liberating her true being. Tyler had already vanished into thin air and all she was left with was à dim glow in the distance and the sound of little ringing bell. Jordie’s bell. The girl launched herself towards that spot of light, flying with wings of flames like a Phoenix.
-Jordie! -she shouted. Wait for me!
Fueled by her heated emotions, she crossed the warping space and caught the globe of light before it reached the wormhole between the two connected worlds.
-Stop! -she yelled. Stay for a moment! Talk to me! Don’t leave all my questions unanswered!
Cling! Cling! The little bell echoed in her ears and for à moment, she felt two small arms encircling her neck.
-Don’t be upset, nice Kai! I have to go now! They are waiting for me.
Kai held him till he dissipated, giggling and Joren’s face emerged in the light.
-We have to go, Kai. Jordan is about to wake up. Hisher healing journey is now complete, thanks to your help too. We were all bits and pieces painstakingly brought together in long time, to mend the spirit of Jordan. Himher will be whole again as heshe will regain consciousness. Remember us, Kai! When the dream will end, nothing and no one will be the same as before.
As the last words reverberated in the space, an invisible hand touched gently Kai’s tearful face. She recognised the touch and she recognised the kiss. It tasted like summer vine.
“ Goodbye, girl”-whispered the voice inside her mind. “Don’t forget me…”
The ball of light touched the boundary of worlds and exploded with a thunderous blast. The connection collapsed and Kai crash landed in her bed. On the other side of the world, a young woman woke up all of a sudden in her hospital bed.
She gasped and shook her head, then relaxed. She recognised her family members and her doctor. She couldn’t remember the reason of being in hospital; she was feeling well and in one piece.
-Did I miss something?-asked Jordan, raising an eyebrow. I feel like I slept for a hundred years. It was fine but I would like to go home now. May I, doctor?
Everyone burst into relieved laughter; Jordan was himherself again.
I have walked a dream like no other and my heart was captured, my spirit released and liberated. I am myself more than I ever was. The love I encountered was brief but intense and it lives inside me, imprinted deeply in my soul along with all the magic it carried. I am a rememberer, a storyteller and a dreamer.
I’m not an ordinary girl anymore.
Do I remember you? Of course I do! You’re the Magician who released the Wild Girl from my inner world. You found her, hiding in her Secret Garden and you opened the door, showing her the way. You’ve let her follow you, believe in you, trust you and in the end, fall in love with you. Was it something planned? I doubt….But you and I, we got caught up in our entangled wild dream. You and I, we found a love that could’ve been…if only we would’ve met in real life. So You have dreamt me and I continued that dream, finding you.
Our love was swift, passionate, fiery, creative, all consuming….despite its illusory existence. You have broadened my horizon, deepened my inner world, enriched my emotional life. We have built a love like no other: both incredibly beautiful and maddeningly painful. This love cannot die. This love doesn’t want to die. This love is so much a part of me that denying it would mean to deny myself. I didn’t know how much of you has built itself inside me, until we both woke up and the wandering in our connected dream was over.
After picking up all her shattered bits and pieces, the Wild Girl banged the gates of the Secret garden behind her and locked them. She lives there, wandering on the shores of the Ocean of Memories. I visit her sometimes and we talk through the bars of the gates. With you gone forever, she won’t come out anymore. But we both miss you sometimes; so we recall your face, the sound of your laughter, the softness in your eyes….
They both landed on the sands of a large shore washed by the waves of an ocean hidden in mist. They could hear her breathing in and out slowly, her voice mixing with the rasping sound of the breeze rolling the bits of sand along the shore. Moonstone tiles lay scattered around, like remnants of a pathway long lost.
Holding hands, Jordan and Kai ran ahead, laughing happily. The salty mist curtain opened before them…then closed silently after, hiding the two silhouettes from the view of any unexpected pursuer. As they reached the swaying expanse of turquoise waters, Kai closed her eyes for à moment, breathing in the scent of the Ocean.
-I knew you would like it-murmured Jordan. I’ve read it inside you. You and I, we seem to share so many secret dreams and wishes… Maybe this was the reason why I stumbled upon you and the door of my world opened to your touch…
Sensing the warmth of hisher hands seeping through my palms, I felt the same deep connection. My own thoughts were echoing in hisher words. In that elusive, mysterious space where dreams are born, our two worlds have met and got entangled. By now, it was difficult to say where one of us was ending and where the other one was beginning. We seemed to have merged like two galaxies full of stars and we were about to build new starscapes.
–Open your eyes, girl-said Jordan. Look! What do you see?-she asked.
Kai’s eyes popped open and she stared into the space before her. The Ocean had come closer, its refreshing waves embracing, caressing the girls’ feet, while in the distance, the waters have turned into translucent mist. From that glowing haze, mermaids and mermen came splashing joyfully, surrounding them for a moment and vanishing seconds later.
-Wow!….-that was all Kai could say. Jordan grabbed her hand and they walked through the oceanic vapors, till they reached an even stranger place. The chirpy chat and frenzied splash of the inhabitants of the Ocean was long lost in the distance and was replaced by the hollowness of the new space where they stopped.
Like a world locked in a crystal ball, this was a real dream sighting. Huge, elongated blue trees were soaring above, rooted in an untouchable depth. Older or younger, all the trees were swaying to the rhythm of a music only they could hear. The thin, silky leaves growing on the tips if the branches were filled with lines of various inscriptions. They were pieces of poetry, captured on each leaf. Rain drops were falling from the infinite sky, splashing the leaves, scattering the letters and words, carrying them to the equally infinite, translucent depth.
Jordan stepped forward and touched the surface of that space, sending a shock-wave of emotions through the blue forest. The trees leaned towards her, trying to touch hisher palms, eager to receive a droplet of hisher feelings and turn it into new pieces of poetry leaves.
-These are my poems, my heartfelt teardrops that never reach the bottom of that inner land. My dreams, my pains, my hopes and fears, my moments of light, my loves and disillusions, my nightmares and rages, all the echoes of the numerous, fragmented myselves. I brought you here, girl because I need you to remember them…for the time when I could not.
–How would I remember them all ?!-I asked, concerned by the unexpected task. They are part of you and I don’t want to lose even à line…
-Don’t worry! Just relax and let me guide you.
Heshe took my hand and we jumped into that eerie space, flying through the lively blue forest of poetry. Like swimming through à powerful torrent, I was caught, pushed forward, sucked in and permeated by dazzling , conflicting, elating or shattering emotions. Words, hundred of words clung to my skin, my heart, my mind, rushing to find à place in the corridors of my memory. They carried me through Jordan’s life and under their touch I witnessed the birth and rise of all hisher embodiments. We flew through this blizzard till each and every letter or word fell into position, leaving behind an emptied space, with those strange blue trees finally at peace with themselves.
As we left that space bubble, I fell off my feet, exhausted. We were standing now on a hilltop, under the green dome of a lime tree. Jordan helped me up and as I leaned my back against the trunk, heshe asked worriedly:
-Are you ok, girl?
I gazed in those dark brown eyes, wonderingly….Why did heshe want me to remember ? What was happening? Before I could answer the question,space shifted position and we found ourselves one atop the other. Lying on my back, I held himher closer and we kissed…long…passionately…desperately….breathlessly. That eternity of a kiss tasted like summer wine, exploding in my mouth in taste of love and fragility. In the embrace following the kiss, we’ve lost boundaries and we fell slowly, swirling in circles of light into the abyss of stars opening acquiring below us….
Kai woke up in front of the mirror, her forehead touching the cold, smooth surface.
She was already changing. She felt both liberated and troubled. She moved with more ease, she laughed more often and people around her started to notice and enjoy the changes. Deep inside, she felt the skin of her soul becoming softer and more sensitive, easily reacting to the heartbeats of that other person living connected to her inner world. She was falling for someone she hasn’t seen yet, someone with whom she has not talked yet…Still, she knew a lot about that person’s intimacy of the soul.
“ Girl, you’re losing your f*cking mind !” – she sighed inwardly, then left the bathroom with a smirk. “So what?!” -she thought. “Let it come, whatever will be. I’ll handle it then.”-she concluded and set herself in motion. The day belonged to reality and reality was claiming her full attention. Her confident, composed self was real but it was only the tip of the iceberg. So many such elusive chunks are flowing in the huge river of life….Facing life requires a hardened protective shell and one would be shocked to look around and see the others the way they are behind the mask. Their naked truth….
We are walking galaxies of swirling emotions and shadows, we are what others see and we are also what only we know. Kai was no exception. She was living in a city, had a job, there were expectation towards her and she was doing her best to get things done right. The meadows of dew and stars belonged to the world of dreams and fantasy and reality was not invited there. But now, someone has found a way to open her inner door. The shadow of another soul was walking her inner pathways, searching her inner lands, touching her inner features, leaving its own fingerprints on the soft inner walls….If this was not madness, then it must have been love. Aren’t these two things sometimes the same?
Love was not unknown to Kai but this feeling moving inside her, ruffling the surface of her inner ocean was like no other before…This one was undressing her from inside, peeling off her protective shell, calling with its enchanting touch the wildly free and untamed being her core kept hidden for so long. The day spent in walking the order of reality proved to be annoyingly long. Wild Girl was knocking on the inner door, hoping to break free and Kai bit her lips not to scream. Where was the night when she needed it?!
Finally, the curtain of the sky filled with stars and she banged the door in the face of reality. Clutching her hands on the cup of hot chocolate, she stood on the windowsill, sipping in the refreshing air of the night.
“Do I want this ? Did I ask for it and I can’t remember? What else can’t I remember? “
I kept feverishly search my mind for answers but there were none. This is not MY dream-I kept telling myself. But who am I? More and more I feel like a cracking cocoon, another me pushing from inside, asking to be released, asking for its right, no!my right to live. Oh! Who are you, why did you stir my world into disarray?! Why do you need me? Where are you? “
Kai shook her head and went to the bathroom to wash her face. Maybe the cold water will help her calm the inner turmoil. She let the water cool and splashed a good amount on her face, on her neck and chest. Huh! That was icy! With à deep sigh, she ran her wet hands through her hair and looked in the mirror. The answer was there, looking at her with dark brown eyes.
-Good evening, Kai- heshe said and the deep purr of the voice rang in Kai’s mind. Come! Our time is shorter than I hoped.
Kai stared in disbelief. “This is not happening!”-she thought. “I am crazy, I know but this is more than that!” The one she was looking at was taller than her and had spiky black hair and a creole complexion. The features of the face were ambiguous, holding an equally strong femininity and masculinity. The ambivalence of the voice was well reflected in the features of the face and even in the personal aura radiating through the mirror.
-You’re not crazier than I am-chuckled the voice in Kai’s head. In fact, we have a lot in common. That’s why we got up tangled in this dream. Don’t be afraid! You’re not losing my mind. Now give me a hand! There are things I want to share with you…
Heshe held out a hand…through the mirror. Kai stared in the dark brown eyes, searching for the light so close to her heart. It was shimmering in the depths of those eyes…She grabbed the hand and they both vanished in the silver waters of the mirror.